Total Nuts

图片取自 The Fifth Paw

  It's a myth that dogs shed when the weather goes from cold to hot so that they'll be more comfortable in the summer. The truth is that they shed 365 days a year, twenty-four hours a day. I have no idea where all the hair comes from; maybe the groomer uses Rogaine on them. Otherwise they would be bald by now.

  So we do the best we can. We go through vacuum cleaners at an amazing clip; in our garage in California we had six broken Orecks lined up against the wall, looking like a vacuum-cleaner version of the Rockettes. We also groom the dogs on a rotating basis, two or three a week, in an effort to cut down on the shedding.

  Of course, hair is not the only problem; certain "incidents" take place with remarkable frequency, all with the capability of leaving stains. There are about 4 millions products designed to cleaned up dog accidents, and trust me when I tell you that none of them works as advertised. Or maybe we just overwhelmed them.

  One day Debbie and I were in bed watching television. There was a commercial for dog cleaning product, and it showed a woman cleaning up after her boxer made a mess. At the end she praising the product, and she holds it up and turns to the camera, a big smile on her face. "And I really need it," she says. "I have six of them."

  Then the camera cuts to her dogs at her feet. The implication is clear: this woman is hilariously eccentric for having six dogs.

  Of course, the camera didn't cut to the bed that Debbie and I were in, which we were sharing at the time with seven dogs. Add in the ones in the bedroom but not on the bed, and it totaled twenty-one.

  If the lady in the commercial was nuts, what did that make us?

  Total nuts.

Dogtripping, 25 Rescues, 11 Volunteers, and 3RVs
on Our Caine Cross-Country Adventure
, p98~99
David Rosenfelt
ISBN 978-1-250-01469-6

Mak Xiao Wei(2014.03.08)>>[当周脸书帖子]>>




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